Hello Sisters,

I am going to take the time to explain why I urged my husband (dh) to start this email group. One day I had to get a key to our church building so I could set up for a Stake Young Women's meeting. I called everyone in the ward Young Women's organization. They were all at work. I called everyone in the Primary Presidency. Again, all at work, except one who didn't have a key. I called the Relief Society Presidency, and they were all at work, except for the President who was jogging. I realized I was in a strange, different minority. Being relatively new in our ward, I wondered to whom I could turn in an emergency and for some reason or another would need someone to watch my children on short notice. I counted eight sisters who were home full time.

Throughout the years I have worked at home to earn extra money. It hasn't been easy. I've tried daycare, addressed envelopes, taught music lessons, started a couponing business, among other things, to help us through financial rough spots. We have really sacrificed our needs and wants to make the allowance for me to be a stay-at-home mom.

I worked in a daycare before my marriage and saw what happened to the children after the parents left. Invariably they get second best care. When I had a daycare in my home, I cared for two infants. One of them came to me six days a week. Her first day with me was when she was five days old. One day 18 months later, the mother came to pick her up. It was usually the father who came. When the mother held out her arms for the little girl, she clung to me and cried. Her mother got upset, roughly took her from me, and her little girl cried and held out her arms to me and cried "mama". You can't imagine how heart wrenching that experience was. That baby had bonded to me! What was even worse was the mother's natural reaction. She was angry. This wasn't the babysitter's child! She was sealed to her mother. But physically and emotionally she was more mine than her mother's.

I was also a teenager and I know that those teens whose parents worked were the ones who eventually got really messed up, or went through difficult times. There are always exceptions, but not many. But I'm not talking about exceptions. I made the committment to my Heavenly Father that if the counsel from Church leaders tells me to stay with my children and nurture them personally, then somehow, like Nephi, a way would be provided.

So, we buy our clothes at yard sales and D.I. We rarely buy anything new. I have been judged as an idiot by many of those who work. They criticize us for living in "poverty" and accuse me of being brainless because I have chosen to stay at home.

So, noticing there wasn't much of a support system for moms who are at home, I started looking around for support. I noticed that everyone bends over backwards at church and elsewhere to make sure they aren't offending mothers who work. But nowhere in the last three wards in which we have lived has there been support for moms who are home. Rather than support, there has been gossip and judgements passed because our homes look like children live there. We drive our cars until they die and don't spend our money at all the interesting "in" places or do the "cool" things done by families with 2 incomes.

So, I begged my husband to set up a support system for moms who are AT HOME full time. Now, this doesn't mean that I want to exclude those who leave to earn money on a part-time basis. Gosh, what would we do without tupperware???? But, I want a place where I can plug in instantly for support, ideas, help, and find a sounding board. I want it to be a place where no one is flamed for staying home. This email group is not the place for those who wish to question or argue or bring contention for the choices we have made to stay home. But, importantly, I don't want those who choose to work outside to be offended because we think it's wrong for mothers with children still at home to work (please remember, I'm not talking about the exceptions, just the ones who work to afford a nicer house or a camper or boat, satellite dish, cell phones for all the kids, etc.).

So, there you have it. This isn't a list for support of motherhood in general. There are other lists that provide that service. I want this list to give support to mothers who are at home. I am not here to judge why a mother needs to work outside of the home. I am saying that this list was started and is called "Stay-at-Home Moms" or, HomeMoms. That is what it was created for, and that is what I want it to be...because I want support for me and others like me.

Okay, I've probably stepped on a few toes. I'm sorry, but that's life (like I tell my children when they say to me, "That's not fair!"). What else can I say?

Another reason why my dh set this list up the way he did was to be able to control it in such a way as to avoid negative people who are wont to backstab, gossip, or bring an argumentative and contentious spirit. I also want a way to make sure we don't get perverts and other whacky and weird people from infiltrating and exposing their sicko minds to those on the list.

I would welcome sisters to the list that are home because they have chosen to be there. I invite those who don't feel comfortable with this to create a support group to fill their needs. Also, I welcome those who stayed at home and have raised their families and are now enjoying grandchildren. Afterall, that is where my mother and mother-in-law are now and I frequently call them for advice and information. They have a lot to offer.

Let others create lists for the support of single moms who work, or divorced moms, or married working moms, or whatever, but this list is for moms who choose to stay home. It's my list and I'll keep it the way I want. Call me a spoiled child, but that's the way I want it! I say to my children: "I'm the Mom, that's why!" 8^}