Family prayer, night and morning. Family scripture study. Family Home Evening.

We don't just have Family Prayer. We gather every night to read the scriptures, have prayer, and we do a LOT of talking. We don't just pray and then exit the room. We enjoy each other's company. We have spiritual discussions.

The church teaches us how to have a good, close family. They have given us the foundation if we will just start with what they counsel us to do. FHE, Daily Scripture Study, Twice-a-day Family Prayer, attending church as a family, eating meals together, growing a family garden, doing chores with children, attending and holding family reunions.

In our family I think PPI's were the best thing we did with our 2 boys before their missions. My husband was one-on-one with each of the two boys 2 or 3 Sundays each month. They went in a room and closed the door and sometimes we'd hear them laughing or I'd find them sleeping later on. When I needed to know, my husband would clue me into things. But mostly, it was private time between the guys. Next month the first of my two girls will be a teenager. I think I'll start my version of PPI's with the girls.

Fast as a family together on Fast Sundays with the same purpose. Begin and end the fast with a family prayer. This is the most important part of Fast Sunday and unites the family.

Make Sundays a special day by eating in the dining room and using your china!

At different times in our lives we each feel a little more successful with our efforts as mother's to bring unity and love within the walls of our homes. When we take time to evaluate "where our family is today" and "where we would like to see our family tomorrow" (not literally, it all takes time). Have a family council. Set goals as a family on things that would help you become closer, and then begin by setting up steps to achieve those goals. I like to keep a small notebook in my purse for times I am waiting in traffic or in a doctor's office that I can simply evaluate things to do for or with my children and husband. I also keep cards with me that I can write a quick note to a family member. I do believe that each mother wants families that love and care for one another. With the hectic schedules that are evident in families it is even more important to work out the things we feel will best benefit our family. Sometimes what we want for our children aren't necessarily what they want. Take time to re-evaluate and come up with a solution.

Mostly I think that if you are each other's best friends, and that anger never gets in the way of love and when it sometimes creeps in forgiveness comes quickly, a family unites together in bonds that will last for eternity. One thing I keep on our front door that applies to families as well as those you meet during the day goes like this. Have the ability to see Christ in every face you encounter, then act accordingly. If you want to give light to others, you have to glow yourself.

At the beginning of FHE, we would let the children choose an article out of The Friend, New Era, or Ensign. They would read it and then teach the rest of us about it. That would be our lesson and they all really liked to do that. I don't know if it was a Prophet or General Authority who said there is no better marriage counselor than the Ensign. I agree with him!

We get together for Conference weekends. On Saturdays, we BBQ between sessions, and the men go to Priesthood, and we have ice cream afterwards. During the Priesthood session, the women go on a nice long walk and chat.

For Women's Conference, my daughters and I go to my mom's home and it's nice to listen to conference together.

A few years ago my husband invited our married children to go to the temple with us on Valentines Day, then took them out to dinner. This has become an annual tradition. We go on the Saturday nearest Valentines Day. One year we did sealings which was extra special, but usually we do endowments. Even our not yet endowed daughter and her fiancee joined us for dinner after the session this year.

One thing we have done, is to periodically hold our own family testimony meeting, usually around a campfire. Those meetings are special and dear to all of our family. It binds more than our hearts, but unites us as a family, with a common thread of belief in the eternal nature of families and in the restoration of the gospel.

For our family we had a special tradition. When our children turned 12 they picked whichever temple was their favorite, then we made arrangements to go there on their special day and do baptisms for the dead. The temple workers were so excited that they wanted to spend their birthdays there, that they were treated with the utmost of attention. Most temples we could take them to the cafeteria afterwards to eat. This made a memorable day for all, and the beginning of them keeping a current yearly temple recommend. We would then give them a framed picture of that temple to hang on their walls in their room as a remembrance of the great blessing the temple is in their lives. It never gave the children a sense of "if I go to the temple" but "when I go to the temple". This brings many memories to us as all of our children are grown now & great gratitude for this Holy house being so important in our lives.

My husband and I kiss hello and goodbye every time one of us leaves the house or comes home. Every time. The kids get grossed out, but they really love it.

My husband and I go grocery shopping together. Sometimes the children come, and we end up taking 2 cars to Wal-mart. We let them know we are going, and anyone who wants to join us is welcome. If one child is left at home, we all feel really bad...so we convince them to come with us.

My hubby and I have enhanced our family closeness by sitting together in Sacrament meeting. Even though it was hard when the children were little, I think holding hands during every prayer is a good reminder that the purpose of eternal families starts and perhaps ends with a good couple. We declare our rides to and from meetings as "mini-dates," and I will read in the hall while my husband is in a presidency meeting so that I can go to and from the building with him.

We walk our dog together at night to help me exercise (I am a new diabetic) and try to do our work together as much as possible, even though we probably get less done than we would by delegating and splitting up. That's how we work together when the family is here also. Seems to make more sense to me to be friends in this life than to have a "Tidy" life.

For our family - I would have to say it starts with Sam & I. We like to be together as husband & wife. In the early years I would go to the job site and spend hours there while he worked. I would read a book or cross-stitch - whatever. As babies came I didn't spend quite as much time there but you would still find me there once in a while with the kids in tow.

Go to bed earlier with your husband and have time to communicate, read a book together, etc.

Our family website keeps us close, as do the cell phones and email.

Have a family council and planning meeting once a week. Make sure everyone puts scheduled activities on the calendar!

My mother sends out a calendar each month with all the birthdays and anniversaries and special events for the month for every member of the extended family, including welcoming the new family members by marriage and birth. We have a family list and web site and share email and pictures with everyone.

We also call each other on the phone at least weekly, but often daily just to check in and find out what is going on. Cell phones have been great for facilitating these contacts, because we live in a lot of different places.

We have a great e-mail system going with my side of the family. I have one brother and three sisters, and our mother is still living. We have set up several group email sites (I don't know the official term). I can send an e-mail to one address and it will go out to all my siblings and my mother. I can send to another address that will include my siblings, my mother, and our spouses. We have a third address that goes to the entire family--adults, children, nieces and nephews. My brother administers the site and makes the e-mail changes, etc. We have a fairly regular banter going on, and we find we are keeping in much better touch than we ever had before as an extended family. The younger generation post baby pictures, tell about high school and college classes, etc. We oldsters trade recipes, talk vacation planning, reminisce, etc. It has been wonderful.

We have found that we have all been closer with our son on his mission. We have three married children and so when I get the email on Mondays, I forward them on to the others. The funny thing about the letters is that our son answers each of our questions and we end up finding out important things that we didn't know. Also we don't always understand his half of the letter, which prompts us to call and visit with the person whose letter was in question. I have found out about callings, school assignments, and more. I love the email connection!

Communication. You cannot wait until they are teenagers to start communicating with them. You have to be able to talk to them about anything and they must be able to talk to you about anything and nothing. At our house we have endless chatter.

Hug your children and tell them you love them. Easily done when they are young. It becomes much more challenging when they are teens and adults.

As they were growing up, I never allowed "ugly" names or hitting. I constantly told them that their siblings were going to be their friends the rest of their lives, so they needed to make good memories and start being close now.

Stick up for each other, especially when an outside friend teases a younger sibling. If a friend who is visiting treats a sibling badly in our home, we tell them to stop and be nice, or they are invited to leave our home and not come back unless they can treat ALL family members with courtesy and respect.

Lastly, I think unconditional positive regard is important in the family. Each family member needs to know that they are loved and appreciated for who they are, not for what they do and that each family member loves the others.

Our kids are still very close, as are all the cousins. They support one another in school events, in life events and in struggles. I'm not sure what I'd do without my children taking care of one another. As our youngest son has been going through his difficult stage... it seems that his sisters have become his mother. He tells them things that he doesn't tell me, and I'm grateful they're there with the advice I'd give him.

If family is spread far and wide either do a chain letter/chain e-mail that follows a certain pathway amongst family members. You add your letter then pass it on. The next one then adds their letter and so forth. When it returns to the you, remove your letter and replace it with a new one. If your family isn't the letter writing type, then have them all connect to MSN Messenger, and on an appointed time (Sunday evenings?) Gather at the computer and do a group chat.

One of the most important things in our family, however, has been my mother and her unconditional acceptance and love of every member of the family no matter what is going on in their lives. This started many years ago when my brother, at the age of 30, died and left a young wife with 6 small children. That little family had been sealed in the temple. Within a very short time, my sister-in-law remarried a man who was a good man, but not a member of the Church. My mother embraced him and his parents and included them in family gatherings and kept them in the loop on all the family events. He joined the Church, has been to the temple, and they have two children of their own. That has always been a testimony to me of the power of love and has contributed to close relationships with cousins, nieces and nephews, and in-laws who don't live the Gospel standards and make choices that I may not agree with. In our family, we don't judge, we love.

I feel that the most important thing is doing things together and letting your child know you are interested in what they are doing whether it be at church or school or sports.

I think sometimes as mothers we get to thinking we have to do all the serving---we have to be the one to fix little Suzie's hair on Sunday etc., but I found that by asking my children to assume certain responsibilities, not only did it relieve me of some of the stress, but it also helped them learn the value of service and to do things for each other. Children are willing enough, they just don't always have the ideas. They need to learn that they need not only mom, but they need each other too, so they are then closer.

When I knew a child was struggling, sometimes I grabbed a brother or sister and suggested that maybe they would be able to help because they had been through similar stuff----it was cool to see closed doors and to know that a sibling was in that room, comforting and helping a sibling. Yes, I helped too, but I felt it helped them to have empathy for each other and grow together by sharing and helping in that way.

We also assigned partners for some chores, vacations where we needed to keep track in a crowded area etc---and we tried to not always assign the ones that they would have chosen.

Have a "sibling only" get together. As they get older, they need each other's support. Mom and Dad aren't always going to be around. Karl's mom has a monthly "siblings dinner". They rotate where it is each month.

My husband has been on several basketball teams with our two sons. My two daughters and I love to go and cheer them on.

In our family, we try working together...my husband is a teacher and so he works other jobs after school, on weekends and in the summer...all of our sons help him with these businesses! Working together keeps families close, whether it's service or whatever.

We attend the events the others are involved in.

We take family walks together in the evening during good weather months.

We work together as a family in the garden each evening.

Working together. Family projects that HAVE to be done can be made more fun when you all do it together.

Taking opportunities to work together must really have an affect on a relationship. It has seemed to work for us.

Have family adventures together. Picnics, walking, drives in the car, visit historic sites close-by, visit temple grounds together. Do things together that don't cost a lot of money.

Weekends are for family only. We encourage our children to treat Saturdays and Sundays as a family day. Dad is home, and so we do family things together on those days. Friends can drop in, but we don't encourage our children to "play elsewhere". There needs to be times when they learn to be friends with their siblings. This changes as they get older and have other responsibilities, but the foundation was laid when they were young.

Studies show that a close, supportive relationship with grandparents and extended families (cousins, Aunts, Uncles) can help a child become more emotionally stable and are healthier.

Everyone attends weddings, missionary farewells, returns... and they try to attend baptisms, etc.... we all get together EVERY Thanksgiving in Vegas. The kids LOVE their cousins.... they go to EFY with them, etc.... They love the support and unconditional love that they receive from their uncles, aunts, grandparents etc....

I think it's because we do a lot together. We love to play games together. We take walks, tractor rides (we live on a farm), work projects, and we just love to sit around in the evenings and just talk.

We eat dinner together as often as possible. Just having a conversation with each other about what they did during the day binds siblings and parents together.

From a single mom. I'm grateful for always having dinner together as a family as our children grew up. I think it made all the difference in the world, and it wasn't always easy. I'm a working mom and sometimes the last thing I wanted to do was cook dinner, but it really has a big pay off.

Dinner time together!. We limit the outside activities to one or two per child (1 music and/or 1 sport). I'll make dinner time flexible if the activities can't be. Some weeks are impossible (football season), but we're over 50% on weekdays and 90% on weekends.

Play a board game together on Sundays. Put a puzzle together. We've had a lot of good talks doing that.

My mom and dad were not active church members but they always took us everywhere with them. I did not go to a babysitter that I can ever remember.

We live on a farm and we have to work together branding and gathering cows off the desert and mountain range. It has brought our family together because we need each other.

We stay close by doing fun things together - visiting different places, taking drives to see things, etc. We like to take day trips in the area. There are so many close places to go and do things we enjoy, many of which don't cost any money. We bought a book called Utah Hikes for Kids or something like that, and have used it to find lots of great places to explore that aren't too hard for the kids. Even just going to the park together. When it's warmer, every so often we'll go pick up fried chicken (we like our grocery stores chicken better than KFC, plus it's cheaper), eat it at the park and let the kids play.

Mom or Dad reads a book out loud, usually even the ones who don't want to hear another story bring their homework or something in the living room and end up listening.

When we built our first house there was no time for dates, if Sam wasn't working making money he was at the house - I would bring dinner & the kids. I would work by his side while the kids played in a safe area. And as they got older they helped too. Right now we are in the middle of building another home - everyone at home pitches in to help - either actually helping with the actual work (our 17 year-old son) or stacking lumber or cleaning up. Our son on his mission is even involved albeit in spirit only - but we send him weekly updates on the progress & photos too.

Our family just did everything together while the children were young. Yes we've taken a few family vacations - generally unique but rare occurrences with my husband being self-employed, but I really believe it is all the little things we did together that have made us a close family. From ball games to shopping, gymnastic meets to piano recitals - we encourage as many family members to come and support their siblings.

About a year ago we established a house rule of no computer/TV/game boxes style entertainment on one day a week. The kids play games together, build with Legos - just do things together. The older ones are a bit rebellious about it but now a year later it has become habit. I think they even look forward to it.

We also have the FAMILY Hu. (kind of like the group hu. from Aladdin - only WE DID IT FIRST!!!).

Believe it or not practicing your child's music (piano, violin, fiddle, guitar, etc.) can bring you and that child closer together. They love the individual attention they get from you and if you keep it positive, they will feel great about themselves and about you and about your relationship.

Our children played music together in a family band and though it wasn't always easy sailing, it was a very unifying thing to do to keep children busy and close to home during teen years.

One way that I have found that my kids open up with great conversation is exercising together. Whether at the gym, or power walking. I find the power walking the best because it is easy to feel our conversation is totally private.

We made up a favorite survey. Like favorite hymn, scripture, restaurant, dessert, color, etc. what was our hardest thing we've gone through. (I think it helps to know other's burdens; to be able to help carry each other), and we all guessed who each other's survey answers were.

Each year around Christmas we attend a Christmas cultural event and have a big family dinner with the entire family.

We have prepared a holiday basket or presents for another family that has been a meaningful family experience. Each child pays and chooses an item for a person in the other family and chooses . favorite item to put in the basket ( hot chocolate, favorite cereal etc.).

At Christmas each year, we have a tradition of caroling to friends and then we visit with them for a while. We often visit non-members, widows, etc. and this is something we enjoy together. It gets very difficult to do sometimes because with older children involved in so many things, available times are few and far between. Nevertheless, this has been something that has made us feel close.

We go on outings to the zoo, museums and movies together. This time together binds us together.

We have a family cheer! It goes like this: 2,4,6,8 Dastrups, Dastrups we are great! No, empty seats at the Temple. Yea! Then everyone gives each other a hug. Simple, however, I feel very effective. It's not the big things that bind families, it's the little things.

We pick a family theme each year (for that year).

Our family is SO very close because of the extended family being SO close. We have 2 family reunions with my hubby's side of the family every year, his immediate family (parents, siblings, spouses and children ~ cousins!!!). Everyone attends the reunion. They get off work, and really make it a priority to be there.

One thought is about service within the family. We would draw names and keep them a secret. For the next week we would be the "Secret Elf" for the person whose name we had drawn. The children were very creative and worked hard to remain anonymous. They did everything from making beds, to doing chores, to helping with homework, to making or even buying special surprises or treats. Our children enjoyed this no matter how old they were. At the next FHE we would all find out who our "Secret Elf" was. It brought us closer to have to think of what someone else in the family would need or want and then act upon it. It also helped them love each other when they found out who had done those things for them.

Our family likes to go on what we call Safari's. These are excursions that have nothing on the agenda but a general direction to go in. The entire family sets the agenda as we go along and find something they want to stop and see or do. It is fun having an open agenda because we don't feel rushed to get anywhere at a particular time and we can take our time doing whatever anyone wants to do. How "Safari" came to be the name of our excursions is, we go as "fari" as we can on as little money as we can. Our children are now doing that with their own little families. It is a lot of fun, and makes for good memories and time spent doing things just for the fun of it.

Fiddler on the Roof said it all in one word. TRADITION. Develop meaningful traditions

When traveling together, my husband would start games that the kids would play together. The License Plate game, the search for the alphabet game, Who Am I?, and other mind games. Games help children do things together.

We went camping every year. One thing about camping is that there aren't distractions, and you are all together in one tent. It built a lot of memories for our children. It's those simple camping trips they still talk about and they take their kids on!

We gather together in the kitchen each evening after family prayer for a bedtime snack. The children all talk and visit with each other, and it has been a real uniting thing for our family.

Our older children double-date together. All through high school they attended parties and dances together. They are friends with each other's friends. I know this isn't possible for every family, but it has been for ours.

We don't have a dishwasher. Every evening after dinner we all did our assigned jobs on cleanup. I washed the dishes, One daughter cleared the table, another daughter put away leftovers, another swept the floor, another dried dishes, one put them away, and my DH cleaned the stove and counters, etc. While we did, we took turns choosing songs to sing. We still all laugh when we sing the Battle Hymn of the Republic--our youngest daughter's favorite hymn. Even the biggest mess never took more than fifteen minutes with many hands to make the work light. I especially liked cleaning up at Christmas time, when we'd sing carols.

Also--my husband read to the girls nearly every night. They went through many classics, and at least 8 of th. Redwall (Brian St. Jacques) series. The girls would all pile onto two bunk beds while Dad read. Just a month ago, Christie, who is now nearly 18, brought home the latest Redwall book, and asked her dad to read it to her at night. Imagine that?

We love those whom we serve, so encouraging our children to serve and help one another has made a difference. Since our oldest is away at college, we write, phone and send e-mails so she feels close to the family and keeps up on what we are doing.

I really think it's more the little things that add up. My oldest came home from school SO GROUCHY the other day, from the minute I picked him up. After trying a few others things to calm the kid down, I said, "Sounds like you need a dance party.. I went and turned on some loud music and started dancing. Within 30 second he had a grin on his face and was dancing along. :. I think things like that are things they'll remember.

When my children were younger, we had "Mondays are Fundays" every week. When all chores and responsibilities were completed, we would go exploring around the Dallas-Ft. Worth area. It was the perfect prelude to FHE - - they have always associated the fun of Monday with the happiness of FHE.

Once a week, my sister and her husband set aside time to go out on a date with one child. It's one-on-one time with that child and the child is allowed to pick the eatery and what they want to do. My sister discovered that during the evening, they saw the unique personality that each child possessed. Without constantly competing for parental attention, each child was free to talk about anything. It took a lot of time-shifting to do this but she learned about each child's dreams and hopes. It kept my sister and her husband close, too, as they worked together to help the child achieve their goals.

During family get-together dinners take out a new white table cloth (have different ones or different occasions, i.e. Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July etc.) and hand everyone fabric markers and have each person, or family unit, decorate an area of the table cloth. The next year on the same occasion bring out that table cloth and have everyone add to the decorating of it by working in a different area of the table cloth. This tradition can be continued even after the children leave home. They will come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and it will be a fun way to connect with each other year after year.

Start a family recipe boo. Print it and give 10 new recipes a year to your college kids in plastic sheets. Maybe high school seniors would like one too. They love it!

I am a big believer in tradition. Tradition is what seems to bind the family together. Simple things like "Remember, I love you and have a great day!" as a child walks out the door to school is binding. For mothers that work outside the home sending little notes in sack lunches or writing a quick lipstick note on a bathroom mirror can accomplish nearly the same thing. When a child feels love and understands love he is more apt to share love with others.

One tradition we started we call "The Threes": Three taps , three winks etc. They all know that 3 means, "I Love You" even if it was three carrots in their lunch. I could tell my children or husband that I loved them without anyone else knowing and it didn't matter where we were. Yes, it works at any age. My children are now 23, 21, 18 and 16. I tapped my 16 year old's shoulder in Stake conf. Last Sunday and he smiled. Take the time to have fun and laugh, take the time to listen.

Every night at dinner, our family goes around the table and each person says one good thing that happened that day, and one bad thing that happened. The kids titled this game, "Good and Bad.. Even when we have guests to dinner, they play the game, too. It gives everyone a chance to tell the highlights of their day, and then promotes communication between family members. We have learned so many things about our children this way we would have never known. On the other hand, the kids also learn and appreciate what their parents days are like, too. On Sunday, we change the question to "What did you learn at Church today?. This is also great for spiritual discussions. This has been our most meaningful tradition for staying close as a family. Good things can happen around the table.

This has been the thing that has kept the teenage boys always at my home and it was Homemade MALTS. My missionary sons yearbook had over three quarters of the comments mentioning Malts at our house. As I hear from companions in the mission field they all mention malts. My 16 year old son will walk out of the house in the morning with 2 or 3 he is taking to friends. I always have 4-5 gallons of ice cream on hand. It is the way we open up our pantry like the prophet has suggested. I even found an old-fashioned malt sign which now adorns our kitchen wall. We even have a great nephew that has a limited vocabulary but when he hears the blender in the kitchen, "malt" is a very clear word. Keeping the friends at the house keeps the whole family involved, which may even mean staying out of the way and showing respect, or cleaning up after they have made malts.

I believe that the more simple we make things the better they turn out. I must confess that it wasn't always this way for me, but through trial and error, and many exhausting experiences that my children didn't seem to truly appreciate I have refined things a bit always trying to remember that it is "how the person feels" after the experience and not what was done as an activity, or what we ate. I have found it particularly helpful asking for family input on activities, service projects, dinner menu's, etc. When the family feels that their voice is important then the things planned run smoother.

Have you looked on the Women's Conference website? http://ce.byu.edu/cw/womensconference. The virtual sharing stations are great, and they have three years worth of ideas posted there. Click on the "service" link on the left side of the home page and then go to "sharing stations.. Each year (2004, 2003, and 2002) has over 100 different topics related to families and strengthening the home.

For one thing I think family closeness starts at an early age. It's almost impossible to become close to teens if you don't have a foundation. I'm not sure that it matters exactly what you do with your family, just that you spend plenty of time together. When our kids were small we played plenty of the "dark game". It was a game our children made up and never tired of.

As they got older it was lots of fishing, camping, hiking, and Saturday night game nights. Now that the youngest is 15 it has changed again. What works now is dinner discussions about their lives, their problems and trials and the whole family brainstorming to find answers. It brings a special closeness when the whole family is involved in praying for and helping another family member. I'm sure family closeness will take on another dimension when they start having families of their own. I'm convinced that there isn't one right way. We all have to pray for our individual families and find what is right for us.

I work in the YW program. I found myself wondering where the parents were? Why were YW going to YW ball games and firesides without their parents. If they were not supporting them in their church functions are they supporting them at all? I think that if parents want to be closer to their children they need to spend more time with them; they need to get to know them and their friends. In a talk given by President. Hinckley "Great Shall Be the Peace of Thy Children" Nov.2000, he says, "Make your children's friends your friends." I absolutely love my children's friends. I love having them in my home and my refrigerator is always open. By all means my family is not perfect but I truly believe being their friend is a most important part of their lives.

When our son got into inline skating and was out on the streets skating and avoiding the police and hanging out with kids we didn't know, we knew we had to get involved with the world of skating. So we organized a skate club, promoting families and a good public image. We got in the newspaper a lot because of this. We attended city council meetings, with all the boys, to convince them to let us have a skate park. We did fund raisers, charity work, etc. While we were working on our skate park, we built a skate park in our backyard. My fussy neighbors hated all the kids there, but most of the neighbors loved watching the boys do tricks. I usually had about 25 boys at my house every day. They knew Sundays were off limits, and no bad language etc. We drove kids to out-of-town competitions, and did many other things with these boys who I grew to love, tattoos and body piercings and anything else they had. This brought my family closer. My girls got involved too so it became a family affair. So the moral of the story- whatever your kids passion is, get involved an. help them fulfill that passion in a wholesome way. You have to use wisdom and judgement because some kids may develop passions for things that really are harmful.

Each person has a need to not only feel wanted, but needs reassurance as to why their presence and love is vital to the family unit. If they know that, it helps them weather the rough patches that inevitably come along.

I think one reason is because when the kids were really little he & I made the floor our world. After all, that was their world. They would crawl all over us, around us, snuggle up to play while we would read. We were always accessible to them, and tried hard to maintain that. Now that they are married and have kids, it's interesting to see them doing the same thing with their own children, and my husband & I still do this with our grand children. Not as easy to get up off the floor now, though. The gospel was always in our home in every way, as it should be in all homes. It has been stressed that it is more than a religion. It defines the character and who you are.

I have always told my children about both sets of grandparents: plants they had, foods they liked, jokes, sayings--just little things. I try to make them people, even though some had already passed away before my kids came along. This "history" we all share seems to act as a "binding agent" for our family.

I used to quote my mother-in-law and preface it with, "as my sainted mother-in-law would say...", and my youngest boy used to call her his "Saint Grandma". They may not have known their ancestors, but they feel like they did.

Even though we have a house that is big enough for every child to have their own room, we still have them share rooms. The 2 boys together and the 2 girls together. We have set up our home so that the kids can always retreat somewhere on their own at any time, but they have learned to get along famously through sharing their space.

We have packed games in our 72 hour emergency box.

The best thing we ever did was play with our kids. A very wise woman who was a bit further along in life told us that when we couldn't stand our kids, when they were naughty and driving us nuts, we needed to play with them. She was absolutely right, and started us on a path that led to many games, family outings--sometimes just to Costco for the freebies on Saturday or McDonalds when we felt we could afford it--and camping trips. The object of our family time was to play. Grown-ups sometimes forget how, but their kids will teach them how to be young again. When our missionary was a teenager he preferred "playing" in the garage with his dad, building a sand rail, to "hanging out" at the mall. Our teenage daughter quilts beautifully and can put in a zipper. She cross stitches and can ride a four-wheeler with the best of the boys. Everyone in the family can change the oil or a flat tire. And it was fun learning those things. Of course we didn't just have fun teaching them about our world. We have enjoyed the latest craze at each stage of their lives as well. They kept us young, and reminded us to take time to be a child. We miss our missionary terribly because our fun is missing one. Tell them to play. They will never regret it.

We also have used humor extensively while raising children and developing our relationship as a couple. That was one of the first compliments written home from the MTC by our missionary son. He mentioned that he realized that not all dads and moms play and have fun with the kids even into their adulthood and he was thankful he had that type of parents.

About FHE--we make sure that we always do two things every time besides the lesson-they are 1. having a treat, even if it's only 10 cent ice cream cones at McDonald's-they have sometimes had an all you can eat in 10 minutes contests with them. 2. We always have a fun activity. The kids fight over who gets to pick the activity. Some favorites are the hide and go seek in the dark or ally ally oxen free outside, the shoe game-we made this up-everyone puts at least two pairs of shoes in the center of the room, and they are all mixed up and we time them to see who can put them in pairs the fastest (it gets crazy). We sometimes do charades, or scripture story charades, hide an object and someone who left the room has to find it, and so on. The person in charge of the activity gets to choose. It is one that they fight to have and keep good track of who had it last. We are not really organized with FHE. I am not a person that collects lessons, and is super organized, but, we have found that the most important thing is to consistently have it, learn a good lesson and have fun. That way, the kids want to come. We are pretty low key. We also, being lucky enough to live close to extended family, have a family night with each of our extended families on two separate Sunday nights. There are lots of grand kids now, but it is something the kids look forward to. We don't often go out and do activities for FHE. We almost always have a lesson at home and then the other parts of family night. Another thing we don't do, is gripe about things. That is strictly not allowed. If there is a problem, then we have an informal family council another time. I grew u. with gripe sessions at FHE. The spirit is much better without them.

My advice to keep your family close is this: Teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves. Be kind. "A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger." Have an eternal perspective. Realize you don't 'own' your children and they are not yours. They are on loan from their Heavenly Father. They may even be spiritually 'older' than you! Even YOU aren't your own. You were bought with the most valuable blood in eternity: Christ's (see 1 Corintheans 6:19-20).

Unconditional love. NOTHING will interfere in my relationship with my children. Nothing they do will make me turn my back on them! And I mean it! They already know where I stand on matters and issues... I don't have to preach it to them... They know my testimony. My job is to love them, teach them gently when moved by the spirit (and know when to back off!), and have faith that Heavenly Father knows what they need better than I do. We are a very close family and I'm SO grateful.

We have only one TV in the house, and the computer games, Nintendo, etc., are all in the same room as the TV. This keeps the family together in the same room 90% of the time and teaches sharing, and it controls what shows and games are in our home. Homework is not done in the family room so that is about the only time the family is apart.